Starting school is a milestone every parent marks with excitement — the tiny uniform, the brand-new shoes, the photo by the front door. But for Alicia McHugh, this week’s school run brings a painful reminder of the little boy who should have been standing in that photo.
In November 2021, Alicia’s son Andrew was stillborn at 36 weeks. Facing an unimaginable grief, she turned to a tiny patch of dirt in her back garden, finding solace in caring for growing plants when she couldn’t care for her son. That small plot eventually grew into Butterfly Bears Flower Farm in Killygordon — a living tribute where every bloom honors Andrew’s memory.
In this moving bonus episode, as Andrew would have taken his first steps into primary school alongside his siblings, Alicia shares her journey through grief, the deep symbolism behind the farm’s name, and how nurturing nature helped her find a way forward.
In This Episode:
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A Milestone Marked in Silence: Navigating the emotion of the first day of primary school when a child is missing from the front door photo.
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Finding Solace in the Soil: How tending to a small garden plot provided a tangible way to care for Andrew when he was gone.
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Butterfly Bears Flower Farm: Building a flower farm in Killygordon as a lasting, living memorial.
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The Story Behind the Name: The powerful meaning connecting the Ursa Minor (“Little Bear”) star named for Andrew and the symbolic butterfly wings.
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